For those of us who grew up with the Brady Bunch, what a fairy tale they painted! They seemed in every way to function exactly like an intact family. I don’t know about you, but my blended family in no way resembles that one. That is not to say that things aren't pretty darn good most of the time, but not like Hollywood painted it.
Not to mention … where is my ALICE!
What do you know about the Brady Bunch? Did you know that Sherwood Schwartz conceived the idea for the show back in 1966 after learning that 30% of US families had at least one child from a previous marriage? So basically, before I was even born, the step family statistics were that high!
Side note: (This may not be interesting to anyone but me.) When Schwartz pitched his script, Mike was widowed and Carol was divorced. The network objected to a divorcee! As a compromise, Carol’s previous marital status was never revealed.
Makes me wonder if in the 60’s divorcees wore a scarlet letter of sorts. In most circles, it feels like a blended family wears that scarlet letter today. At least that has been my experience.
Do you remember the episode in season one where Carol Brady tells her youngest step-son Bobby “Listen, the only steps in this house are those (pointing to the stairs), the ones that lead up to your bedroom.” Wouldn’t it be nice if that were actually true inside our blended family homes!
Right about the time I feel like we are one happy family, BOOM - something happens to remind me that I am the STEP mom and that familiar feeling of lonely displacement rears its ugly head. It's that same feeling of reaching the top of the roller coaster and then losing your stomach as you plummet at full speed toward the ground.
I went to the Step family Foundation to look for statistics on today’s step families and this is what I found:
1300 new step families are forming every year.
Over 50% of US families are remarried or re-coupled.
66% of those living together or remarried break up, when children are involved.
The 1990 US Census stated there will be more step families than original families by the year 2000.
75% of step families complain of "not having access to resources as a step family," (according to a recent Step family Foundation survey of 2000 web questionnaires.)
Here is the link if you want to read more: http://www.stepfamily.org/stepfamily-statistics.html
WOW! If the 1990 US Census got it right, we may be in the majority!
That last statistic (lack of resources) really resonates with me and my passion to create this forum. How can so many still turn a blind eye to us? We could very well make up more the 50% of the families today!
You are not alone!
Until Next Time: Step Gracefully!
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