COVID 19 and Forced Family Fun

I wrote this post several months ago, long before the COVID 19 Pandemic. Rather than re-work it to fit the times, I added this opening and left the body of the work as it was. We have a new way of life and a new vocabulary. We say things like shelter in place, quarantine, social distancing and distance learning among other words and phrases. The most coveted items are no longer new clothes or tickets to the latest movie but masks, gloves, cleaning supplies and toilet paper. We are facing challenges that are brand new to most of us. With so many staying home, now more than ever, we are looking for ideas and ways to keep toddlers engaged, our elementary children learning and our teens attitude in check. In a traditional family, this is a challenge but in a blended family, it is often better described as gearing up daily for battle.

For many, visitation agreements are on hold and children are unable to move back and forth weekly or for weekends as they did before the shelter in place orders. For some, you have your stepchildren full time and may be struggling with space, groceries and even enough clothes to take care of them for such a long stretch of time. In many cases, you are facing this challenge with nothing more than a guess as to just how long it could last. These are just some the physical issues, what about the mental and emotional issues? It's blended family woes on steroids! Stepmoms, put on your armor and spend LOTS of extra time on your knees begging God for mercy, grace, patience, wisdom and an extra dose of unconditional love for those in your home. Now is NOT the time to argue about the small things but to focus on the big picture. Traditional or blended, this is your family and you (along with your spouse) are charged with meeting physical needs, educational requirements, social needs, Spiritual needs and even fun - Yes, FUN! Your home can and should be a place where laughter fills the air. Proverbs 17:22 in the English Standard Version (ESV) reads: "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Here is the post I prepared months ago:

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I don’t remember where I first heard this, but I was introduced to "Forced Family Fun" at some point in my young adult life. It is just what it sounds like, only not in a mean way. Asking everyone to participate in an activity even when they may not want to and believing that it will turn out to be something they actually enjoy. Preteens and teenagers rarely want to do anything with family, especially when there are steps involved. It isn’t cool and often family time just sounds lame to them. (Does anyone use that word anymore?) I would argue that is isn’t all bad if our kids occasionally have to do things they don't want to do just because they should! That’s how I feel about forced family fun. Hanging out at the house with younger siblings or stepsiblings may not be a high school boy’s idea of a fun afternoon. However, it is important to have those times in which we all interact together. I would also add that it would be HUGE if you could get them to put their phones away (or remove the apple watch) and actually engage! You may be thinking, "it’s just not worth the fight!" I understand, I really do. If family bonding is not worth the fight, what is?

Here are some points to help you with your attempts at forced family fun:

• If you have teenagers, communicate your expectations ahead of time to avoid conflicts in schedules • Watch for those rare spur of the moment times when everyone seems to be home with nothing pressing to do • Make these times few and far between (don’t expect to have family game night every week!) • It doesn't have to be a full or even a half day event, sometimes a two-hour window is more than enough time for meaningful interaction • Get one or two of the kids on board ahead of time and hope that their attitude is contagious • Over prepare but be flexible. Maybe the game you chose stalls-out, but everyone is engaging and laughing together. Don’t make it a thing to get back to the game! Just enjoy the moment and call it a win! • Be thankful and communicate gratitude to the family for sharing their time – it may make them more willing the next time

Now that our kids are all adults (I just choked on that word a bit), I am so thankful for the memories we were blessed to make over the years. Here are just a few things that come to mind for me: Cow tongue football, first day of school parties, road trips, horseback riding, fun at the lake, leg wresting in the living room or even outside, bond fires, Christmas lights, sporting events, picnics in the park, visits to the zoo, theme Thursdays, Fourth of July firework shows, Oscars night, Alabama theater, choir performances, recitals, beauty pageants, homemade pizza night, PaceFest fun ... I could go on, but I think you get the picture. There are built in opportunities during holidays, there are actives that are free and those you may have to save up for - just do them, as many of them as you can as soon as possible! Until next time, step gracefully!